Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Might Be a Beggar, But . . .

Okay, so beggars can't be choosers, right?

Well, this is one beggar that is going to be a bit choosy.

It all started right after I posted my resume on CareerBuilder. This occurred approximately ten minutes before I read an article on Idealist about why you should never post your resume online.

So. Within hours of my posting said resume, I started getting all these emails from insurance companies, telling me how PERFECT I am for insurance sales, and how I would be such a HUGE ASSET to their company.

Well, I'm not really going to argue with that. I mean, of course I COULD sell insurance if I wanted to, and yes, I would in fact be quite the asset to such a company, but really? Insurance sales? I can remember my parents setting up an appointment with some insurance sales dude when I was a kid and this dude came to our house and brought out all his life expectancy charts and all that rigamaroll, and just NO. I refuse to be that skeevy guy with a combover, or worse, plaid polyester slacks.

Hmm. Why do I imagine insurance salesmen to have combovers and plaid polyester slacks?

It doesn't help, either, that I just watched that weird movie with Forest Whitaker, where he's a life insurance guy and his company is always trying to bilk people out of the proceeds of their policies, and he ends up uncovering a murder and then killing the murderer himself so Julia Stiles can have the insurance proceeds. You know that one? Well, if not, it's not worth seeing, Forest Whitaker is creepy. And then, just now? I read that Forest Whitaker's father was an INSURANCE SALESMAN.

So, no. I will not be taking a job as an insurance salesman. So when that guy called me just now from Banker's Life to recruit me, I said, "No, THANK you." I mean really, why do bankers need life more than the rest of us?


  1. Bryan's grandfather sold insurance after he was disbarred. I don't know if he had plaid pants but he WAS bald. Hmmm....